Don't Read if You Love Renee Zellweger

This isn't a Renee-bashing episode but I really don't see the draw. I only saw the previews for Leatherheads and it was enough to keep me away. This morning I saw her on Good Morning America promoting her most recent film, New In Town. I won't be seeing that one, either. I can't stand to watch her, she does that funny thing with her mouth like she's trying to pout, getting it all round-like and she has beady eyes. She's stiff, almost like a mannequin, afraid if she moves something might become dislodged, or worse. I'm not sure but I'm thinking most of her movies don't do particularly well at the box office and are quite forgettable. Yet, she keeps making movies that get good, solid runs at theaters around the country. Any movie with Renee in it doesn't seem to have much trouble selling itself and I can't figure out why that is.

What really gets to me is that a beautiful movie like Slumdog Millionaire almost didn't make it to the theaters. It was a movie that seemed doomed to head straight to DVD because it has a "starless" cast (Renee should have practiced her Indian accent a la Bridget Jones's Brit accent, died her hair black and took on the part of Latika and the studios would be tripping all over themselves to have the film). Warner's top brass didn't see enough financial upside to invest more than the $5 million they'd spent on the U.S. rights but they had no problem bringing us the gem called Lady In The Water - no, I didn't see that! Danny Boyle is responsible for the wonderful film called Millions which received favorable reviews all over the place but for some unknown reason the executives at Warner didn't want to give Slumdog a chance. Yet, Renee keeps chugging out hapless movies. Thank you Fox Searchlight for seeing the light and getting this movie into theaters.

Okay, granted, Renee was in some movies that were well-acclaimed, such as Chicago, Cold Mountain, Cinderella Man and I saw two of those but I still didn't enjoy Renee in them. Jerry McGuire was a fun movie but I really couldn't see Tom Cruise falling for Renee Zellweger so that part was not believeable to me. I'm sure we won't see her in anything quite as magical and wonderful as Slumdog Millionaire and I'm glad of that because if she's in it I won't see it. What do people see in her, that's what I wanna know.